They say that at around the time of our fortieth birthday we begin to evaluate our lives; what have I achieved, where am I going, where have I been, what has happened to the dreams of my youth? It is the time of the dreaded male menopause, when we realize that probably at least half of our lives have passed us by. Some (men) respond to this realization by getting divorced, buying a Harley-Davidson and riding off with their new young lover.
It is also a time when many of us turn our attention to the meaning of life. Typically, home, family and career are established and we ask the question: So what? Is this it or is there something more, something deeper and more meaningful
And so it was with me.
I clearly remember remarking to my daughter as we were driving to work together one morning: Is this it? We get up, we go to work to make money so we can buy food to stay alive so that we can get up and go to work? There must be more! It seemed to me that life was something that just happened to me and that I had very little say in what happened.
Up until that time I had always had an interest in the meaning of life. I had read more than my share of books and I had tried different religions looking for answers, but now the question seemed to be more pressing.
It seems that the universe heard me; all sorts of coincidences occurred that led me down previously unexplored paths.
I attended various workshops that gave me new perspectives. I began to realize that I had always been in control of my life, but that I was not particularly satisfied with the life I had created.
Around 1995 someone told me about Reiki that it was an ancient form of energy work that had the ability to heal on many levels.
I found a Reiki practitioner and went for several treatments. I had mixed feelings about the results; on the one hand I was disappointed that no magical solutions to my life had appeared, and on the other hand I was impressed at the feeling of physical and emotional well being and clarity of purpose I experienced.
When my practitioner told me that he could teach me to do Reiki for myself I jumped at the chance and took his Reiki I and Reiki II classes.
Some time later another Reiki Master appeared in my life and asked me if I would support him in running a Reiki class. I did so and went on to become a Reiki Master. Afterwards I studied further with him to become a Reiki Teacher.
This has proved to be an ongoing process. One does not become a Reiki practitioner or teacher. One is always becoming and learning. It is a journey, not a destination. Each of my students is also my teacher. Each Reiki treatment is different from all the others.
From Reiki I have learned that there is no “one size fits all” solution to life. We are all unique.
This realisation led me to study Life Coaching.
For me, the basic premise of Life Coaching is that you know best how to run your own life. My solutions are unlikely to be the same as yours, and as a coach, my job is to support you to find your own answers. This was a lesson in humility for me: to accept that I do not have the answers.
However, it is my privilege to act as your mirror, and by means of questions and observations to support you to see clearly the results your actions have in your life and to support you to discover for yourself how to change the things you wish to change.
So to come back to my opening question: What is it all about?
I still have no idea, but I suspect that for me it is about the realization that there is no destination, there is only the journey.
The Healing Grove